Have you ever seen observed a tortoise? It remains, most of the time, in its shell without even peeking out, unless it’s alone or it’s important. As the people around it grow, its time in shell increases. That’s how the introverts are! They spend most of their life in their own nutshell. And no one knows how they are inside that shell, what they have been doing inside, what they have been thinking off or how they feeling out but for the world they are just some worthless to the world outside.
And once you get used to live in a nutshell, you don’t really think of breaking it for anyone ever.
But then someone comes up who starts to understand you. You feel like you are talking your won soul, start opening up yourself, your worst fears to your wildest dream, someone is there to listen to you, encourage you, and support you. And you feel so alive that you decide to break your shell for that someone. You start thinking whether it was good that you stayed inside that nutshell for all these years because you got someone so caring or whether that someone was waiting for you from years and you wasted years in coming out. But however and whatever it may be, breaking up the shell makes you to start dreaming, a new exciting life, and thinking as the life outside the nutshell would happen exactly as it was inside.
But then one day, you realize the world outside the shell doesn’t follow the same rule as you were inside. The feelings are not felt in the outside world, it needs to be expressed. While in your shell, you don’t have lot of expectations and can live without complains but as soon as you are out, there is a world waiting for you to meet their expectations and if you can’t, the world feels you betrayed them. Probably, when you don’t meet up an expectation, it’s a mistake larger than life. But you still try to be happy because you broke the shell not for the world but for the one who understood you. The one who wouldn’t care if you meet the expectations or not, because that someone knows where you came from and how you have been.
But then one day, the one who used to understand you, doesn’t understand you anymore. No matter what you say, the understanding cannot be brought back. Because once you’re in their world for so long, you can’t continue to live as you lived inside your nutshell. And when you keep failing even after all the chances given to you, you have been questioned on why you broke and came out of your nutshell if you never could be the part of their world. Why? It’s not that you haven’t tried to be the part of their world. Nothing could have been as beautiful as to see yourself with people caring about you. But the shell you came from, you have always dreamt and imagined of a life, where you want to keep everyone happy at all the time. But the real world doesn’t work in the same way you can’t keep everyone happy at all the times. And amongst the effort to make sync between these 2 different lives of yours, you lose. Yet you still can’t find the reason for that why!
And when you couldn’t answer and justify that why, you just look back to the shell you were part off. Slowly, you try to find the pieces of that broken shell again, to get into it once again, to learn what you used to be, an isolated worthless soul for the outside world! But those crack in nutshell could never be filled up, there are pieces which couldn’t hold up as before – leave you scared, afraid of what if someone would be able to see the weak you! But at the same time every ray of light and every drop of through those cracks always bring up a smile to your face and a tear to eyes – reminding you that how beautiful the world outside your nutshell was.
That’s when you learn that not everything can be the way you dreamt off. There are always some dreams unachieved, broken. And some feelings are better left unexpressed, unsaid!